Cherry Blossoms & Snakebites: A Mary Sue Invasion
by BruisedBumbleBees
Summary: Oh no: it's another exasperating Mary Sue invasion at Wammy's House! Kitsune and Keiko's cliché names aren't the only things causing a stir: their "flawless" bodies, coupled with underdeveloped personalities, are causing EVERYONE to go gaga in wonder!
1. Arrival, Thongs, & the Black Market

`•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•( **CHERRY BLOSSOMS** **& SNAKEBITES: A MARY SUE INVASION** )•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

_PART ONE: ARRIVAL, THONGS, AND THE BLACK MARKET_

The sun shone crisply through the bright summer leaves as a refreshing gust of wind blew through the streets, scattering what few twigs lay scattered on the pavement. As the breeze subsided, a black limousine pulled up to the curb. Its sleek side doors opened to reveal a beautiful maiden with Japanese-cherry-blossom-hair seated inside. Her aqua-blue-and-purple heels emerged from the limousine, followed by long, beautiful, shining, pale, hair-free legs. An aura of perfection, slightly reeking of corniness, surrounded her as she stepped fully out of the sleek limousine. Then, an overkill of description began.

Her luscious hair fell as far as her knees and flowed about her face. Two strands in the front fell to her pierced belly button, which was exposed by a far-too-short, slutty top, almost like a bikini, that encased her large chest-too big for her little body. Because of this disproportion, she was permanently leaning forward-a sight leading some to believe that she was in fact a slight hunchback.

And as if that weren't enough, another girl stepped gracefully out of the car. She was just as breathtaking as the first, of course, with purple pixie-cut hair glimmering in the sunlight. Her multiple ear piercings dangled, clinking against each other as she raised her delicate frame, her snakebites glittering in the sun. An oversized green hoodie hung loosely on her tiny abdomen, hiding the many cuts that lined her arms and even her stomach.

Quillsh Wammy himself stepped from the limousine. He stared at his passengers, and had to hold back a mocking laugh at their obvious vanity. "Keiko, your thong is showing again," he murmured.

She turned back to him with a smirk on her face. "Of course it is, Mr. Wammy," she breathed seductively to the man 50 years older than her. "It can only rest on my hips with a miniskirt this short." She winked.

Kistune, the ever-present emo character, stared at her friend, a dead expression haunting her pale face. "Stop acting like such a slut."

Wammy pushed the comment aside and shoved the girls up the pathway before further comment could be made on the subject.

As they were hustled toward the building, the girls turned their faces upward to catch a glimpse of the place. A towering mansion with stained-glass windows loomed ahead of them, with a luscious forest surrounding it. The trickling of a stream could be heard from within the trees. Then the great double wooden door, with intricate designs carved into it, was before them, and Quillsh Wammy grasped the brass handles to admit them.

"W-welcome to your new home." the man stuttered.

He winced, faking a smile.

•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

Mello and Matt were squabbling. The latter had accused the former of selling his video games for chocolate on the black market, which Mello furiously denied. As their voices rose and the atmosphere got heated, a sudden knock on the door caught their attention.

"Let me in, please, boys." The tired voice of Quillsh Wammy was muffled through the wood. As the door swung open, the young men laid their eyes upon the relatively hot Keiko, who, with her "natural" golden eyes, gave them a hearty wink. Even though she was leaning slightly forward to balance out her generous chest, she was still good-looking. Instantly their hearts melted, and they found themselves unable to tear their eyes off of her. A deep, hormonal want for the girl flooded their veins. This desire was intensified when they caught sight of her low-positioned thong.

Suddenly, their eyes narrowed. A "boy" was standing close to her-too close for their liking. Even though he didn't know the girl's name and had no way of suspecting what her personality was like based on her looks, Mello's lips curled back in a sneer as he met the potential rival's midnight-blue eyes. Matt was doing the same, despite his equal lack of knowledge. The strange boy looked down suddenly, blushing, which surprised Matt and led him to think that the boy was not a rival, but in fact, just . . . gay?

Wammy, oblivious to the atmosphere, cheerfully introduced everybody. "These are Kitsune and Keiko, two _female_ additions to our family at Wammy's House . . . with very original names, not overused at all." He muttered this last bit.

Mello and Matt exchanged looks of faint horror. "That's a GIRL?" they both shouted at once.

"Why, yes." Wammy's voice was laced with confusion.

Kitsune sighed dramatically, thinking to herself, _Not again_. Nobody knew the real reason she kept her hair cut short and bound her chest. Nobody could even guess at the cause for the many injuries she inflicted upon herself. Not one person was able to decipher her cliché, depressed-Mary-Sue behavior. NO ONE!

Her period of brooding was interrupted when Wammy nudged Keiko and loudly whispered, "Your thong!"

"I am aware of that, Mr. Wammy . . . and I think the boys are too."

_Oh Lord, _Kitsune thought. The boys only nodded-rapidly, with drooling grins spread across their faces.

It was the beginning of another Mary Sue invasion at Wammy's House.

•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

_A/N: Thanks for reading! __Part 2 will be out very, very soon...in the meantime, we'd greatly appreciate your feedback & comments! (Don't be afraid to criticize!)_


	2. Puddles of Drool & a Mysterious Door

•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•( **CHERRY BLOSSOMS AND SNAKEBITES: A MARY SUE INVASION** )•.¸¸.•´´¯`••._.•

_PART TWO: PUDDLES OF DROOL & A MYSTERIOUS DOOR_

Burning with embarrassment at the thong-wearing Keiko's absolute lack of dignity, Quillsh Wammy practically shoved the two Mary-Sue invaders down the carpeted floor and toward their rooms. His brow furrowed as other residents of the orphanage poked their heads into the hallway, and then began drooling as they caught sight of the new arrivals. Their saliva pooled on the floor, and several times Wammy nearly slipped in the disgusting puddles.

_Good grief. It's just like the last time we had two Mary Sues here, absolute chaos; boys tripping over each other for autographs, boys fainting face-first into their dinner plates, boys dancing naked atop trees…_

Keiko giggled and flaunted her twelve-year-old hips seductively, making sure that the tip of her thong was completely visible. Kitsune stared darkly forward, brooding. Wammy just tried to get them down the hallway and out of sight.

After what seemed like an eternity filled with soggy-mouthed admirers, some brandishing cameras, the trio reached the next-to-last door in the hallway. Quillsh Wammy pushed the chestnut wood inward and almost tripped over his "naturally" tiny companions in his eagerness to get them inside. "Mr. Roger will bring your belongings up shortly," he announced, and added quietly, "seeing as you were too lazy to bring them up yourselves."

"B-but-but Mr. WAMMY!" wailed Keiko, her bubbly aura evaporating immediately, "I've just suffered a…a HORRIBLE loss! Have your parents ever…ever DIED?" She dissolved into noisy, suspiciously fake-sounding sobs.

"Um…yes."

"…"

"…"

"…" *sniff*

Wammy left the room without further comment.

Meanwhile, Kistune flopped onto the nearest of two beds, taking in the drab walls, the bright carpet, the polished wooden bedside tables, and a most horrendous cuckoo clock. She sighed heavily; letting memories of her old home overwhelm her…

"_Little monster!"_

_ "No, no…let me go! Stop it! STOP IT"_

_ "Don't hurt her!"_

_ "Shut up, you freak!"_

_ The sound of slaps, kicks, punches, and laughter…always that horrid laughter…_

A loud knock disrupted Kistune's unknown-but-bound-to-be-tragically-cliché memories of her past, and she jumped with surprise. Keiko's melancholy sniffles stopped just as suddenly as they'd begun, and she bounded happily to get the door.

Just before opening it, however, she adjusted her washcloth of a skirt so that it almost-but not quite-covered her thong.

A red-haired girl with a brightly colored hoodie and pigtails stood in the doorway. She smiled when Keiko flung the door open, revealing teeth not as perfect as that of the new arrivals'. (They did go through a pack of whitening strips a day, however, in order to attain that dazzling glow.) Her twelve-year-old body was also lacking in mild emaciation and large breasts, which Kistune and Keiko both possessed, somehow managing to defy the laws of human proportion. Despite this unacceptable lack of physical perfection, however, the child seemed friendly enough.

"Hi!" she cried, enveloping Keiko in a hug that nearly crushed the girl's fragile, osteoporosis-affected-due-to-lack-of-acceptable-body-fat-levels bones. "I'm Linda!"

"Hey!" Keiko's reply was just as eager. "My name's Keiko, and this is my friend, Kistune! We're new," she added unnecessarily. Kistune stared impolitely yet somehow charmingly, a hostile but inviting look etched upon her face. The visitor seemed perplexed by these contradicting emotions.

"I know." Linda's head bobbed enthusiastically. "I saw you two coming in." She indicated the drool-drenched carpet behind her. Someone whom Keiko supposed to be a custodian was just now ascending the stairs, mop in hand, a disgusted expression upon his scowling face.

As Linda's finger pointed toward the liquid puddles, Keiko's attention was caught by the darkly painted door at the end of the hallway, adjacent to their own. "Hey, Linda," she whispered, indicating the room, "who lives in there?"

A reverent look swallowed Linda's features as she gazed, transfixed, where Keiko was looking. "That's where The Master lives…the bane of our existence, the one for whom this orphanage was created, the God of Wammy's House!" Her voice reached eccentric levels as Keiko and Kistune stared in wonder.

"I wonder if he'd like my thong?"


End file.
